Two and a half months ago, I not only moved away from my job, family, and friends, I moved out of the US. This also means I moved away from my psychiatrist and therapist. Both of them have been very kind and agreed to do sessions via phone and Skype while I settled in. Well, the insurance plan is changing and tonight is the last ‘session’ I will have with my psyc whom I’ve grown to like and trust. Needless to say, this is causing a huge amount of anxiety and got me thinking about the fragility of my support network. It’s made me realize that because of the time difference (can’t text friends in the middle of their night) and losing my docs, except for my immediate family, I no longer have a support network. It’s a pretty crappy realization.
Yeah, yeah. It’s going to take time to build new relationships, etc. etc. etc. My rational mind knows that. But, my Bipolar agoraphobic side is sending a warning loud and clear that I am starting at square one and there are probably going to be setbacks when a new group of docs think they know it all better and start tweaking my med. This terrifies me. I’ve had some bad reactions to med in the past, and the last thing I want is to wind up in a hospital in a foreign country in a manic fit.
I try to have a point in mind when I write each blog that will hopefully inspire some conversation. This time, I’m not sure I have one. My support network is vanishing and I’m kinda freaked out.
That is all.
Over and out.