There are many changes afoot right now. My husband accepted a position overseas, so as I type, most of my belongings are on a boat en-route for Europe. Along with this fabulous opportunity, however, comes a three-week separation of my family. My son and I have remained in the US and are currently urban camping on the floor with mattresses, 4 pots and 4 forks at our disposal, etc. While I am totally on board with this adventure we are embarking upon, there are still little things lacking in day-to-day life that quite unexpectedly are messing with my bipolarity.
One example I think most of us can relate to is the absence of a clock in every room, in their expected positions. I cannot tell everyone how many times I automatically glance up at the blanks wall, wondering if I am early or late, or will I be right on time. Silly, yet frustrating at the same time. Then, there is the absence of my kitchen table. After two weeks I still lie in bed almost every morning (OK, so I’m in a drug fog that hasn’t cleared yet), and think about how nice it will be to have that morning cup of coffee and read my e-mail in the kitchen. Not. LOL Just knowing the creature comforts of a clock and a table are there represent a sense of security and routine that we BPs are always told to create. Something I am very much looking forward to getting back once my furniture, my son and I arrive at our destination.
The worst part of all is, of course, the separation of my family. My husband had to go ahead to start his job this past Monday. I put the dogs on a plane this Friday and then my son and I follow two weeks later. This is what really messes with my bipolar self. My whole nuclear family and support group is fractured during a stressful time. Yes, I know it is for a predetermined period and it certainly isn’t close to forever. Yes, I have defaced my Buckingham Palace calendar with a Sharpe and turned it into a countdown calendar.
All told, I am so very grateful we are living such an amazing life. It just all feels a bit odd right now…and I am laser-focused on that moment when the family is together again and the normalcy can continue.